After catching a half- dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, buying up all the Barbara Streisand c.d.'s, and renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"These are from a reader ... enjoy:A shoe repair shop: We will heel you We will save your sole We will even dye for you.A sign over a Gynecologists' office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix.";In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels.";On a Septic Tank. "Three." "Three!" Someone, some strange man, was going to do something that repulsed her. She never let anyone do that, ever. One guy even broke up with her over it. But she didn't care, it was disgusting and wrong. Now, a man she's never seen, with a cock she may never see, was going to fuck her in the ass. "Would he be gentle, or quick, selfish and dirty like the last guy?" "Do they plan to fuck her mouth and pussy at the same time, or will they take turns with her 'back door'?" "Will the other two just watch, waiting their turn?" One of them stood in front of her face. He wasn't much to look at, and neither was his cock. It stood erect, wavering in front of her eyes, at only about 5 inches. Though disappointed, she couldn't stop thinking about her tiny puckered, virgin asshole. She hoped whichever took her there would be the same size."Open up bitch," the man said.She did as she was told, wondering when the rest would start. He placed the head of his cock in her mouth, then slowly.
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